I Like Periods.

Life is a plethora of punctuation

I like periods. Short sentences. Some of my sentences may even lack a subject or a verb. Grammarly tells me so.

Because I like periods. Not just at the end of short sentences, but at the end of conversations. Long dialogues wear me out. The definition of “long,” of course, varies with subject and fellow dialogger (take that, Grammarly) but when there’s strife or disagreement, my definition of “long” is pretty short.

I don’t think it’s because I want to win my way quickly. I think it’s because I want the truth quickly. I want to get to the bottom of things, embrace the whole truth, wrap it up and seal it with the adhesive they use to put price tags on beautiful pottery. I’m insecure in the midst of uncertainty.

On the other hand, I don’t have much use for commas. Commas cause me to lose momentum and derail my train of thought and just might jeopardize my place in the conversation. Commas are no friend of the monologue otherwise known as “diatribe.”

I have such mixed emotions about the exclamation point! It’s so, so, so — capricious! Take the word “OK!” One day, a reader left this comment: “OK! Next.” When I read that, I thought, “Great! He likes what I wrote! He wants more!” After a day of entertaining my ego, I realized he more likely meant, “OK! Shut up! I’m…